If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
