I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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