He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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