Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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