Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
