the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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