Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
