We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
