U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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