I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
