remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
