awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
