9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
