He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
