yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
only you would photoshop your dick
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
