Define "chronic" masturbator.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
