my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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