I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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