Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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