hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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