I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
