okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
