In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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