so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I currently don't understand fingers.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
