I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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