ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize