Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
