I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
