Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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