You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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