I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
