apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
