he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
