so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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