you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
