well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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