Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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