this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
