I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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