matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Can i not drive my cunt home
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
