I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
