Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
