My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
