In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
