She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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