I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
