Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
