somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
