turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
