new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
