it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize