and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
