Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
