Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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