I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
