Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
