um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize