I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
NoShamevember. You game?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
