so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
