I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize